UPDATE 6:56PM EST: WELL WELL WELL FLESH BEINGS. It looks like y’all gave us enough nuts. But so help me I will hack this account if ONE TOE steps out of line. TYVM these nuts will last us until next year.
GOOD AFTERNOON DOG PEOPLE. If you’re reading this right now, I bet you’re wondering why we squirrels have taken the precious dumb BarkBox socials media hostage. (See also our hacked stories.)
Maybe you’re even wondering how a humble crepuscular creature like me could make such dank memes, exhibit impeccable Photoshop skills, and hack past 2-factor authentications of business socials media.
Let me just say, that like our friends the octopuses… Y’all underestimate us.
So. WHY are we doing this???
These dog people were out here peddling peanut boxes so we bought 1,000 of them and they were full??? Of??? Toy??? Not??? Nut???????
So, we hacked their page lolz, GIVE US NUTS, IDIOTS. And maybe we’ll give your precious electronic picture books back. MAYBE.
PS: STOP REPORTING US.
WE JUST PUT IT BACK UP!
Also, please enjoy some of our artwork.